Courageous...

It's a tad late for me to really get into writing/blogging about what's on my heart, yet here I am.  So, I think I'll just start by saying that we've watched the new film by Stephen and Alex Kendrick entitled "Courageous"- if you haven't seen it, GO DO IT, especially if you have children.  This movie is very moving and thought provoking on many levels, but to me (and to many others, I'm sure), there was the additional element of my own relationship with my father. 

During one of the scenes of the movie, the young officer asks one of the other officers if he really thought not having his father in his life while he was growing up 'messed him up'.  The senior officer replied, "more than you know."  Having grown up without my father playing a significant role in my life was very damaging to me personally in many different ways, but it wasn't until I was married with children of my own that I realized just how damaging it was.  Quite honestly, my relationship (or lack thereof) with my father has affected every aspect of my life, from my friendships, to my marriage, to my relationships with my children.  Sometimes in good ways (thank You, Lord), and sometimes in things I struggle with daily (thank You, Lord for Your redemptive work in my life!)...

I'm looking forward to someday having the freedom to write my story - God's story, actually- but for now, it has to come out in little boxed snippets.... one of those snippets will be posted soon...

Book Review: Real Marriage by Mark and Grace Driscoll

From the back cover:  "While a wonderful wedding day is important, it's the last day of marriage that really counts.  Will the last day of your marriage come prematurely through divorce?  Will it be filled with regrets as you sit at the funeral of your spouse?  Or, by God's grace, will the last day be a day to rejoice in the life you lived together? 

Marriage is such a wonderful gift from God, but it is also perhaps one of the most difficult relationships into which a man and a woman can enter.  That being said, we all need encouragement.  In the 11-week DVD driven study "Real Marriage: the Truth About Sex, Friendship, and Life Together," Mark Driscoll and his wife Grace delve into these topics and many more providing just such encouragement.  Each session is done in a conversational style between the two, who are sitting comfortably on a love seat together in a large church's sanctuary discussing their own marriage and the many things God has taught them over the years. 

The DVD-based study presupposes the participants are either currently reading or have already read the book of the same name.  Each session in the Participant's Guide is broken up into several parts:  Introduction, Video Response questions, Scripture passage for reflection, Group Discussion and Prayer during which the group breaks off into men's and women's (most weeks), Homework for the Husband, Wife, and Singles (there is a  men's and women's section), Connect during which those who are married would come together and discuss what they've been learning, and lastly Experience during which the couple (or single) will have something to do together, a date night, dinner with a mentoring couple, writing letters to one another, etc.  There is also a comprehensive leader's guide providing additional guidance in leading a small group.

All-in-all this study is one I'm not sure I would recommend, there are quite a few others out there providing more 'meat'... though some young-in-the-faith believers who are single wanting-to-get-married, engaged couples, and younger married couples might enjoy it.  

*Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255 : "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.*

Quiet Time...

At the beginning of this week the boys and I were talking about the importance of choices... that our choices we make will either draw us closer to or farther away from God.  During the course of our devotion time, our oldest son asked if I could wake him up early two mornings a week (Wednesdays and Saturdays) so he could do devotions with me at the time I do my normal quiet time.  Of course who could refuse that?  I asked him if he had an idea of what Scriptures/passages he wanted to focus on and he of course did.  Wednesday we had our quiet time with the Lord together, it was such a sweet time with him, I'm so looking forward to the fruit the Lord brings forth from it...    It is a little funny to me that he wanted to do this since we do family devotions and Bible study together as well on a daily basis...

Not much to say...

I don't really have all that much to say, but I'm thinking that on my goals list for 2012 I should have set the goal to blog on a more regular basis and intentionally.  Anyway, last weekend we had our final holiday get-together, so it's been great this week to get back into our normal routine.  (Whatever 'normal' is...)  Now, as I look around in our small and cozy home, I'm really wishing Mary Poppins would come and tidy things up a bit... organizing our home is an on-going issue for me, one I think I'll always struggle with.  Over the last week our boys have battled colds and ear infections, our older son is all well and fine at this point, but our younger son is still working to get over it.  I'm so thankful the Lord has provided us the opportunity to homeschool them, my dear husband and I would miss ever so much of their lives if we didn't. 
Last night after I blessed our children and was leaving their bedroom, our younger son said, "Mom... Thank You." 
I was a bit puzzled and asked, "You're welcome... but thank you for what, buddy?" 
"Thank You for taking care of me when I'm having swimmer's ear."
Seriously in that moment he could have asked for just about anything and gotten it!  :)   I posted this on my FB page, and many of the comments were kudos to me for being a 'great mom' and so on... while I truly appreciate those comments, I know without a doubt that it is the Lord who has given this boy his grateful heart and has much less to do with my husband and me than what others would believe. 
As parents my husband and I are definitely faithful... faithful in praying over our children and home, faithful in our discipline and character training of our children, faithful in educating our children... but in no way are we perfect in any of that...and I don't think the Lord wants us to be perfect parents- I think He wants us to be faithful parents.  Faithful to Him and His ways.  Faithful in passing down a heritage of faith to our children that they would also pass down that heritage to their children...

Back in the saddle...

Well, here we are back in the saddle... or almost, anyway.  Sunday night before the boys went to bed we reminded them that Christmas break was over, and our 'normal' schedule would resume the next morning.  As you might imagine, one of our boys was none too pleased with the prospect of having a schedule to keep, schoolwork and chores to do and let us know just exactly how he felt about the whole thing.  I was expecting this week to go horribly, and for the Lord to allow the boys to test and stretch my patience level (I have ceased asking God to give me patience- anyone who has ever done that could tell you that He does not just hand over a hefty dose of patience, but provides countless circumstances for you to have to exercise patience... but I digress...) however, as of Monday late afternoon, getting back into routine hasn't been quite the struggle I thought it might be... then comes today... Caleb woke up with a sore throat, which I was hoping was just because it's so dry in our house.  So we went to our homeschool group meeting, had a great time reconnecting with everyone, took my dear husband lunch (I didn't get it made before he went to work this a.m.), stopped at the store at which time Caleb took a turn for the worse (at least that's when he told e about it) saying his throat was really really sore and he had a headache AND he felt a bit warm to me.  Soooo, afternoon lessons didn't go quite as planned, but then that's part of the beauty of homeschooling, you can adjust your schedule as needed.  I'm thinking he has strep throat again....  :(  not good timing since we are headed up to Mackinaw City this weekend for our annual get together with my husband's side of our family.
The verses I'm praying over our oldest this month are Philippians 2:3-4 (go ahead and look them up!) mainly regarding his relationship with his brother.  The Lord gave these verses to Caleb last year and are his 'Life Verses'.  The verse I'm praying over our youngest this month is 2 Timothy 1:7 (go ahead and look it up!), because even though he has a very adventuresome spirit and courageous heart, he is very much affected by fear and will let his fear control his decisions.  As for verses I'm praying over my husband Psalm 119:9-16 (One of the greatest chapters in all the Scriptures!).  Last, but certainly not least that which I am praying and meditating on for me personally is 2 Corinthians 12:9 ~  "But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me."

I would love to hear what others are doing in their devotional lives, homeschooling, any specific goals for the New Year and the like!   :)

Blessings

W

2012 Goals...

In my last post, I talked a little bit about setting New Years' Resolutions for 2012.  I was really encouraged to learn that a couple of my friends also set goals for the up and coming year, that I'm not the only one!  Anyway, one of my friends is going to do a program called 'One Little Word'  ( http://www.bigpictureclasses.com/onelittleword.php ) in which she's selecting one word to focus on throughout the year, meditating on it, reflecting on it, and journaling about it regularly.  I'm definitely not explaining it very well nor very thoroughly, but have provided the link if you'd like to take a look at it.  All that to say, though I'm not signing up for the Workshop itself, I've selected 4 words to focus on throughout the year for myself... Grace, Love, Joy and Kindness, not necessarily in that order.  My plan is to pray on, memorize, meditate on God's Word, and journal on my 'One Little Word'. 

The rest of the goals:
Prayer- the Lord has strongly convicted me of my responsibility to pray for my husband and children, so I've selected a couple of areas in each of their lives to center my prayers around
Bible Study- this year I'm going through the Bible in a year chronologically; the boys and I are going to begin the year studying 1, 2, and 3 John...
Reading- I have a running list of books that I'd like to get through- I make it a point to read a marriage book, parenting book, and homeschooling book each year. 
Marriage- Oh where to start.  I've been really slacking on encouraging my husband, leaving him notes and the like... at least once per month is my goal- sticky notes on the bathroom mirror, notes in his lunch, etc...  :)
Family-  My weakness in family-life/homemaking is the 'Fun Department', so I'm going to make a concerted effort to 'schedule in' fun  and do more in the way of gaming (we have always done family nights, but I think I can up the fun-factor a bit).  I also want to seek out specific ways to create a warm, inviting, peaceful, and joyful atmosphere for my family.
Hospitality- this is an area God has recently brought to my mind and heart that I would like to work on... I'm not sure just what this will look like, I'm thinking once per month, maybe once every 6 weeks depending on the time of year.  I have on my heart (and I think my dear hubby does too) to open our home to couples we don't know well to get to know them a little better... I'll probably update at different times on this.
Household- Getting on and staying on a good cleaning schedule has always been difficult for me... but I'm going to give it a whirl again... I've come up with what looks like a good weekly schedule... do-able, that's what I'm working for.
and last but not least:
Health- What New Year's Resolution/Goal list would be complete without the ever-popular 'eat less, exercise more' goal?  This year I've had some noticeable changes in the way my body processes food, specifically sugars and unhealthy carbs... My energy level is very low- which ends up affecting pretty much every aspect of our home life including relationships.  Soooo, yes nutrition is at the top of the list, along with making it a point to go to the Y and exercise 3 times per week- which should be easy since the boys will begin their classes next week...

Wow, that looks like a huge overwhelming list!  But the fact of the matter is that much of this is a carry-over from previous years, the only completely new thing on this list is the One Little Word concept...

May the Lord Bless You and Keep You and may His face shine upon you in 2012

W

It's resolution time!

Although our Jesus Birthday celebrations have only just begun (we have 2 more to go one of January 1st, and one on January 7-9th)  it's time to nail down those resolutions for 2012.  It seems a little unreal to be thinking about and praying about this already, 2011 has gone by so very quickly, and yet here I am once again.  Typically I pray about those things the Lord would have for me to intentionally work on as a Christina, wife, mother, homeschool teacher etc. well before now, so that all I have to do is pretty much lay out what that looks like for me in books to read, and Scriptures to memorize & study.  However, I'm finding myself a little bit behind this time around.

Reflecting back on 2011, I can see how the Lord has shown me the depths of  which I've lived my life in fear.  That may sound weird, but I've thought quite a lot about my childhood, growing up in a single parent home, a father who wasn't involved at all, the child of an adult child of alcoholics, and a child of an alcoholic.  The Lord has shown me that pretty much all my life I've lived as a people pleaser, and as such I've been somewhat of a spectator in life versus a participant.  That also may be odd to imagine, since I'm a homeschooling mother and the essence of homeschooling is parental involvement.  Anyway, I digress...  So, in the interest of transparency, here's a Fear Factor to a different degree...
~  I have always shied away from playing games, because I know I'll not win, and if I don't win that somehow would mean I'm less than acceptable to those I'm playing with, and they wouldn't want to play with me any longer.  So, instead, I sit on the outside watching everyone, and laughing with them, but not sharing in the experiences of building memories with them.  So, I started over the last couple of months having a game night, inviting a couple or two over for snacks and gaming... my family loves this!
~  In ministry, I realized (God showed me, rather) that much of my involvement has been based on the fear that if I don't say 'yes' that the person asking will somehow think less of, not like, or shun me (now that's a LOT of me!  >:(   gag! )  So, when asked about being involved in ministry I tend to not say 'sure!' right away, but go to the Father and ask Him what would be His best for me.  (Do you see the shift in focus from the 'me-centered,' fear-based approach, to a confident, God-centered one?)  Sometimes I still find it a bit difficult and I have to literally say to myself and to the Lord, 'Okay, Lord, I'm choosing You over this person... what's Your best for me?'
The verse He gave me is:  "Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ."  ~Galatians 1:10 Sadly, I've done a lot of serving in the name of Christ, but really just to please people...  Anyway...


These are just a couple examples of how the Lord is working fear-based living out of me.  Please don't get me wrong, there is a balance.... I'm surely not saying that it's wrong to do things to please others- we are called, after all, to serve one another in love.  The difference is in the motivation behind the service- is it out of fear of rejection (or whatever) from that person, or out of a godly love for them and for our Lord?
All that said, let's get back to resolutions for 2012.  A couple of things that are on tap for the New Year is #1 to continue breaking 'The Fear Factor' in my life (we'll all be the happier for it, I'm sure).  #2 is something I've struggled with for many years, and that is taking time regularly to just play with and connect with our boys.  I've done better over the last year, but not to the degree I'd like.  Some of this is the 'Fear Factor' that has characterized my life for so long, and another part is just that, as a task-oriented person, I have a long to-do list every day.  Relationships with our children are so important, especially as they are growing through the tweens and into the teens, my desire is to cultivate strong relationships with them now so as they walk through that trying time of life, we have a strong relational basis for open communication.

Well, that's it so far... I'll probably post a little later this week a specific plan-of-action (PoA) for 2012... or knowing me, it'll be a couple of weeks before I have this written down...   :)

Blessings~

W