Saturday, February 27, 2010

Death of a Marriage...

This has been a truly heartbreaking week for us as we've tried to help friends of ours whose marriage is facing major brokenness... My heart aches so badly for them and the brokenness there, but most of all for the blindness that plagues her... if she'd only put her pride aside and turn to Jesus, their marriage could truly be reconciled and be stronger than it ever has been...

That blindness... where did it come from? It wasn't always there... I remember a time when I could see everything so very clearly. I could see my love for all that he was and all that he could be, and it was amazing. Everything was so perfect. He was perfect, our lives were laid out before us with so much hope and expectation of great things. Great things did happen, you know. Like when our first daughter was born, then our second and third. Things got really hectic when they came along, but oh, how he loved them with all his heart and so did I. He was so sweet with them, I loved to watch him hold them, cuddle them, play with them. All our energy went to raising them. I'm sure he didn't mind when I bought new furniture without talking to him first... I mean, really, it was a great deal! I know things were tight for us for a while, but everything turned out okay. I sure was busy with school for quite a number of years- it was always my dream to go to college... what does he mean I haven't talked to him much lately, doesn't he know I'm busy with my schoolwork? What? Does he think this is easy? I deserved to follow my dream of getting my PhD... I gave up so many years when our daughters were young. Why is he saying these things to me? Doesn't he see that I deserve this? He's just being so selfish! I never noticed how awful his hair is before, and that morning breath, seriously, I can't stand it when he tries to kiss me before he brushes his teeth. Ugh! Sex AGAIN??? Is that all he thinks about? Can't he see how tired I am? I've worked all day and now this?!? Sheesh! We were just together last.... last..... oh, I don't remember, but it wasn't too long ago. When did he change? It seems as though it happened so quickly, but if I think back and try to remember, I don't remember the last time I actually looked at him. But why would I want to? He's off in his own world now, and I've got mine. He's so selfish, always working and going camping. He asked me to dinner last night... how could he even think I could do that? Seriously! I have so much to do... oh! wait, I'm going to take a break and play a game of Solitaire. I CAN'T believe IT!!! He's been having an affair!!! What a jerk! How could he do that to our family??? I need that income to support our family, after all I don't get a paycheck all summer long until August! AND SHE'S UGLY to boot!!! After all I've supported him through, how could he do this to me and our girls??? I can't believe I ever married him! He needs to figure out what he wants... either he comes crawling back on his hands and knees begging for forgiveness and proves to me he is worthy of me or he will never step foot through my door again!

The devil seeks to steal, kill and destroy... and he's doing it with our friend's marriage...

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Proverbs 31 - Part 2

Over the last couple of days as I've been reading I've been cross-referencing in Proverbs the verses on wisdom in speech... but also, God has laid on my heart the precious gift of caring for my husband's heart... it says in verse 11: 'the heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain; 12 she does him good and not evil all the days of her life." I'm reminded that despite his need to fix and conquer, that his heart is vulnerable and I must cherish it, respect it, and hold it as a dear gift from God... My added prayer is that the Lord would reveal to me the ways I am negligent of my husband's heart and for the wisdom, discernment and understanding to develop an even deeper trust within our marriage...

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Proverbs 31

Last night in our small group the ladies committed to reading Proverbs 31 each day- my personal commitment is to read it each day for 31 days- and seek the Lord as to what He would change in me during that I don't know if I'll be able to keep up w/ a daily check in, but I'll give it my best to do that... :)

Day 1... I've read Proverbs 31 several times, listened to different teachings on it via radio, etc. and have always come away with something(s) that God is working out in me to continue conforming me to the image of His Son... so I'm looking forward to what He has in store for all of us during this time... :) My prayer is very simple... 'Heavenly Father, show me what you have for me here in Your Word'... though I have no major revelation, the verse that sticks out to me is this:

26 ~ She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue...

I have quite the tendency to just rattle stuff off without thinking first both w/ my blessed husband and with my dear chlldren... my desire is to always use my words in such a way that will honor and glorify our King ...

May your day be richly blessed...

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

The Sickies...

Well... it happened. The first one of us to get the flu was Jacob D. I entered the 'sick season' this fall with the confident expectation that God would keep us all healthy enough that we would not have to go to the doctor's office and pharmacy... and that He has! We're so very thankful that the flu bug was not a bad one for JD- no high fever, and only a few hours of the other stuff- and my dear husband and I have only a touch of upset stomach.
We survived so far with no h1n1 flu, no sinus infections, no bronchitis, no croup, no walking pneumonia, no ear infections... Praise the Lord!! Our typical fall-winter-spring sickies usually begin in October and go on and off regularly through May. Caleb is usually the one who gets the worst of it with his allergies and all. This is such a big deal for us because our insurance is not great and we really cannot afford the extra expense at this time... once again (as always)the Lord has provided for our needs! :)

For us, the sickies usually include movie time (Jacob D's favorite), reading time, and snuggling up on the couch together... oh, and don't forget Mom waiting on the stricken party hand and foot... "Mama... would you get me something to drink?" "Of course, sweetheart," I say from across the room. "Here you go" and hand him his glass (which happens to be on the coffee table in front of him. Yup. My dear mother doted on me just the same way when I was sick as a little one, so I'll continue the tradition. :)

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Great Art Website

I've struggled for a really long time to fit in artsy types of things for my dear children... which has been torture for Jacob D. as he really loves art. Soooo, I set out on a quest and bought a great book for teaching them how to draw, but still I wanted to branch out from even that ... far be it for me to stick with just one thing all the time- give me diversity! :) On this quest I came across this great site

She has some really great and fun projects for kidlets of all ages/grades, from the simple to the more complex (at least in my mind- I need things that are simple!) Anyway, give it a try if you're looking for something a little different for your curriculum...

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

The Survey...

Well, I found this on a friend's blog, and since I really wanted to blog this evening, but couldn't seem to get my mind on track as to what I wanted to say, I thought this was a great alternative... so here goes:

To play..Grab the questions..copy them onto your blog..answer them..come back here..put your link in and let the Sunday Fun begin!
Let's get this party started!!

The questions..

1. Do you iron your sheets? ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! I don't iron... period!

2. Your dream car is....? The one I'm driving! Stow-n-Go is the only way to go!

3. Do you have an innie or an outie belly button? Innie

4. What meal do you look forward to the most..breakfast, lunch, or dinner? Probably Breakfast... I really love a good bowl of cereal and a piece of toast

5. Favorite mascara? I have no idea... whatever looks like it will do what it says it will (or won't) do- like leave smudge marks...

6. What would you say your decorating style is..traditional, modern, eclectic, country, french country, shabby chic, etc..? The "undecorated style"... yes, it's true... I took a 'find your decorating style' test on HGTV's site and that's what came up... so I guess my house is perfect for me! NOT!! LOL

7. Have you ever been skinny dipping? Even during my most rebellious seasons of life I would not go skinny dipping!

8. I hate the smell of...? Fish!!! Ugh!

And there you have it folks!