Seasons...

As my dear children are quietly doing their reading time, I'm finding a moment to reflect on where we are and where we're going... I've recently stepped down from a leadership position that has consumed much of my energies leaving little creative energy for my own little schoolhouse (much to the dismay of my children)... there are a few loose ends that need tying up in that ministry before summer hits and as I was emailing the ministry director, I found myself in that role I so easily slip into, and it goes a little something like this: "Oh, and it would be great to put this together, and then this could happen;  it would be easier if we could do this thing like that and so on and so on....  I just can't seem to help myself!!  Will it never turn off???  When I get in mode, the ideas come as easily as the rain falls from the sky... I so need to put that energy to use here in our own little school... my husband keeps telling me I have that 'leadership' gift, quality,whatever you want to call it...I can't really see that, I'm so bad with people, that is, I'm good at telling people what they should be doing, but not so good at the relational side-which is what keeps people and attracts people to ministry.  Anyway, it seems good to not have the weight of the responsibility on my shoulders, and am looking forward to what the Lord would do with this that I just can't seem to turn off in our own family/home (maybe my dear husband will wish I hadn't stepped down- lol)...

On another note, I've been reading 'Stepping Heavenward' by Mrs. Elizabeth Prentiss (an e-book free to read on http://www.gutenberg.org/).  It's written as a journal begun by a girl-Katy- who has just turned 16 and walks through the next 30-ish years of her life/spiritual journey...  As I read this, though I don't struggle with the same types of things this 16-year-old girl does, her selfishness mirrors my own.  *sigh*  The Lord is ever showing me my selfish ways, and I so do wish that it was more natural for me to seek out ways to put my family and others first...  I heard a series of devotionals last week that centered on "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your mind, and all your strength."  This week I'm meditating on that particular verse, I certainly have been very lazy in loving the Lord as of late....