So I was reading in 1 Kings this morning- the part where Elijah ran away to hide at Mt. Horeb when God spoke to him and asked him why he was there. The God told him to come stand before Him... Elijah waited in the cave while a violent wind that broke apart the rocks on the mountain, then the earthquake, and finally the fire. All these thing passed before the LORD, but the LORD was not in them... but then, but then a sound of a low whisper... Elijah heard it and recognized it as the voice of the LORD and he wrapped his face in his cloak and stood at the entrance of the cave at which time the LORD spoke to him gently, tenderly, reassuringly giving him direction of what he was to do. God was did not confront Elijah with frustration or anger, impatience or disappointment when he ran away in fear of his life. It was quite the opposite. He met Elijah with compassion and love.
Oh, how I ferget that gentle, tender, reassuring nature of the LORD! Yes, I'm forgiven, I'm redeemed, but more often than not I imagine God in anger/disappointment mode with all my daily failures. Yes, I know in my mind that gentle, loving part of His nature, but in my daily walk do I really live like I believe that? Sadly for the most part, no.
My prayer is that my Lord would break down that barrier of how I view Him according to my personal life experience and really show me who He is according to His Word...

Finally!

Finally! Three years ago our neighbors who we share a driveway with moved in to their house with their 3 daughters. We should have gotten together with them to hash out expectations, desires, and general thoughts on what life with a shared driveway should be like... but we didn't. We've had so many differences over the last 3 years leading to a lot of frustration on my part. Though they are Christians, they are very young- both in age and Christian maturity-and with that there is a large chasm in how we view family and life in general. Our frustrations have come from 3 years of inconsiderate friends blocking the driveway for extended periods of time, parental differences i.e. sending their 5, 3 1/2, and 2 year olds outside to play without any parental guidance and expecting the 5 year old to babysit the not-so-obedient 2 year old (who happens to like riding her little bike in the road). So, we've suffered through the frustrations of 3 years of babysitting their children while they're out, dealing with the inconsiderate friend, etc.

So, a few months ago, the Lord put on my heart that I really needed to work to build the bridge between our families... to actually 'love my neighbor like I love myself'- as much as I didn't want to. Quite honestly I wanted to just be mad at them for being negligent parents, and 'stand my ground' against the inconsiderate friend. But, of course, that's not God's way... and when He convicts a person to do something, He doesn't just let it go and forget about it. He'll make sure you feel the 'Pressure' until you do it! Last week Thursday I pulled into the driveway to find the inconsiderate friend parked in the driveway and Brianna getting the girls buckled in her car. So, I waited patiently to pull in, naively thinking the friend would back her car up 5 feet so I could finish pulling in and then they would be on their merry way. Oh, but not so. She pulled forward and tried to force me to back out- which I did not- and actually I thought she just might hit my van (she was very close). I 'stood my ground' and waited until she backed up to let me in- all the while I could see she was in quite a rage (not the first time I've seen her cursing me).

I was feeling very badly about that incident and decided I needed to really 'wo-man up' and go talk to Brianna. I took her flowers on Sunday - after much prayer of course- and apologized for not having a very humble heart on Thursday, and asked if she would be willing to come over Friday afternoon and 'hash it out.' A big step for me, as I've never really 'hashed it out' with anyone. So she came over this afternoon and we talked for a long time about life in the bubble, our expectations, hopes, desires, and frustrations. It was really good. The Lord blessed us through this time and we both are looking forward to a much better- more PEACEFUL - summer this year! Thank You Jesus!!

Death of a Marriage...

This has been a truly heartbreaking week for us as we've tried to help friends of ours whose marriage is facing major brokenness... My heart aches so badly for them and the brokenness there, but most of all for the blindness that plagues her... if she'd only put her pride aside and turn to Jesus, their marriage could truly be reconciled and be stronger than it ever has been...

That blindness... where did it come from? It wasn't always there... I remember a time when I could see everything so very clearly. I could see my love for all that he was and all that he could be, and it was amazing. Everything was so perfect. He was perfect, our lives were laid out before us with so much hope and expectation of great things. Great things did happen, you know. Like when our first daughter was born, then our second and third. Things got really hectic when they came along, but oh, how he loved them with all his heart and so did I. He was so sweet with them, I loved to watch him hold them, cuddle them, play with them. All our energy went to raising them. I'm sure he didn't mind when I bought new furniture without talking to him first... I mean, really, it was a great deal! I know things were tight for us for a while, but everything turned out okay. I sure was busy with school for quite a number of years- it was always my dream to go to college... what does he mean I haven't talked to him much lately, doesn't he know I'm busy with my schoolwork? What? Does he think this is easy? I deserved to follow my dream of getting my PhD... I gave up so many years when our daughters were young. Why is he saying these things to me? Doesn't he see that I deserve this? He's just being so selfish! I never noticed how awful his hair is before, and that morning breath, seriously, I can't stand it when he tries to kiss me before he brushes his teeth. Ugh! Sex AGAIN??? Is that all he thinks about? Can't he see how tired I am? I've worked all day and now this?!? Sheesh! We were just together last.... last..... oh, I don't remember, but it wasn't too long ago. When did he change? It seems as though it happened so quickly, but if I think back and try to remember, I don't remember the last time I actually looked at him. But why would I want to? He's off in his own world now, and I've got mine. He's so selfish, always working and going camping. He asked me to dinner last night... how could he even think I could do that? Seriously! I have so much to do... oh! wait, I'm going to take a break and play a game of Solitaire. I CAN'T believe IT!!! He's been having an affair!!! What a jerk! How could he do that to our family??? I need that income to support our family, after all I don't get a paycheck all summer long until August! AND SHE'S UGLY to boot!!! After all I've supported him through, how could he do this to me and our girls??? I can't believe I ever married him! He needs to figure out what he wants... either he comes crawling back on his hands and knees begging for forgiveness and proves to me he is worthy of me or he will never step foot through my door again!

The devil seeks to steal, kill and destroy... and he's doing it with our friend's marriage...

Proverbs 31 - Part 2

Over the last couple of days as I've been reading I've been cross-referencing in Proverbs the verses on wisdom in speech... but also, God has laid on my heart the precious gift of caring for my husband's heart... it says in verse 11: 'the heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain; 12 she does him good and not evil all the days of her life." I'm reminded that despite his need to fix and conquer, that his heart is vulnerable and I must cherish it, respect it, and hold it as a dear gift from God... My added prayer is that the Lord would reveal to me the ways I am negligent of my husband's heart and for the wisdom, discernment and understanding to develop an even deeper trust within our marriage...

Proverbs 31

Last night in our small group the ladies committed to reading Proverbs 31 each day- my personal commitment is to read it each day for 31 days- and seek the Lord as to what He would change in me during that time...so I don't know if I'll be able to keep up w/ a daily check in, but I'll give it my best to do that... :)

Day 1... I've read Proverbs 31 several times, listened to different teachings on it via radio, etc. and have always come away with something(s) that God is working out in me to continue conforming me to the image of His Son... so I'm looking forward to what He has in store for all of us during this time... :) My prayer is very simple... 'Heavenly Father, show me what you have for me here in Your Word'... though I have no major revelation, the verse that sticks out to me is this:

26 ~ She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue...

I have quite the tendency to just rattle stuff off without thinking first both w/ my blessed husband and with my dear chlldren... my desire is to always use my words in such a way that will honor and glorify our King ...

May your day be richly blessed...

The Sickies...

Well... it happened. The first one of us to get the flu was Jacob D. I entered the 'sick season' this fall with the confident expectation that God would keep us all healthy enough that we would not have to go to the doctor's office and pharmacy... and that He has! We're so very thankful that the flu bug was not a bad one for JD- no high fever, and only a few hours of the other stuff- and my dear husband and I have only a touch of upset stomach.
We survived so far with no h1n1 flu, no sinus infections, no bronchitis, no croup, no walking pneumonia, no ear infections... Praise the Lord!! Our typical fall-winter-spring sickies usually begin in October and go on and off regularly through May. Caleb is usually the one who gets the worst of it with his allergies and all. This is such a big deal for us because our insurance is not great and we really cannot afford the extra expense at this time... once again (as always)the Lord has provided for our needs! :)

For us, the sickies usually include movie time (Jacob D's favorite), reading time, and snuggling up on the couch together... oh, and don't forget Mom waiting on the stricken party hand and foot... "Mama... would you get me something to drink?" "Of course, sweetheart," I say from across the room. "Here you go" and hand him his glass (which happens to be on the coffee table in front of him. Yup. My dear mother doted on me just the same way when I was sick as a little one, so I'll continue the tradition. :)

Great Art Website

I've struggled for a really long time to fit in artsy types of things for my dear children... which has been torture for Jacob D. as he really loves art. Soooo, I set out on a quest and bought a great book for teaching them how to draw, but still I wanted to branch out from even that ... far be it for me to stick with just one thing all the time- give me diversity! :) On this quest I came across this great site


www.thatartistwoman.blogspot.com

She has some really great and fun projects for kidlets of all ages/grades, from the simple to the more complex (at least in my mind- I need things that are simple!) Anyway, give it a try if you're looking for something a little different for your curriculum...