Saturday, February 27, 2010

Death of a Marriage...

This has been a truly heartbreaking week for us as we've tried to help friends of ours whose marriage is facing major brokenness... My heart aches so badly for them and the brokenness there, but most of all for the blindness that plagues her... if she'd only put her pride aside and turn to Jesus, their marriage could truly be reconciled and be stronger than it ever has been...

That blindness... where did it come from? It wasn't always there... I remember a time when I could see everything so very clearly. I could see my love for all that he was and all that he could be, and it was amazing. Everything was so perfect. He was perfect, our lives were laid out before us with so much hope and expectation of great things. Great things did happen, you know. Like when our first daughter was born, then our second and third. Things got really hectic when they came along, but oh, how he loved them with all his heart and so did I. He was so sweet with them, I loved to watch him hold them, cuddle them, play with them. All our energy went to raising them. I'm sure he didn't mind when I bought new furniture without talking to him first... I mean, really, it was a great deal! I know things were tight for us for a while, but everything turned out okay. I sure was busy with school for quite a number of years- it was always my dream to go to college... what does he mean I haven't talked to him much lately, doesn't he know I'm busy with my schoolwork? What? Does he think this is easy? I deserved to follow my dream of getting my PhD... I gave up so many years when our daughters were young. Why is he saying these things to me? Doesn't he see that I deserve this? He's just being so selfish! I never noticed how awful his hair is before, and that morning breath, seriously, I can't stand it when he tries to kiss me before he brushes his teeth. Ugh! Sex AGAIN??? Is that all he thinks about? Can't he see how tired I am? I've worked all day and now this?!? Sheesh! We were just together last.... last..... oh, I don't remember, but it wasn't too long ago. When did he change? It seems as though it happened so quickly, but if I think back and try to remember, I don't remember the last time I actually looked at him. But why would I want to? He's off in his own world now, and I've got mine. He's so selfish, always working and going camping. He asked me to dinner last night... how could he even think I could do that? Seriously! I have so much to do... oh! wait, I'm going to take a break and play a game of Solitaire. I CAN'T believe IT!!! He's been having an affair!!! What a jerk! How could he do that to our family??? I need that income to support our family, after all I don't get a paycheck all summer long until August! AND SHE'S UGLY to boot!!! After all I've supported him through, how could he do this to me and our girls??? I can't believe I ever married him! He needs to figure out what he wants... either he comes crawling back on his hands and knees begging for forgiveness and proves to me he is worthy of me or he will never step foot through my door again!

The devil seeks to steal, kill and destroy... and he's doing it with our friend's marriage...


  1. I also faced some of these issues and I almost divorced. If your friend is willing to, tell her to buy the lovedare book and to do it, even when she does not FEEL like it. Gotta start with action, feelings will follow later. My marriage is saved praise God and I will be praying for this one as well.
    God bless!!

  2. Kandi, I'm so thankful for the restoration of your marriage! I have thought about suggesting that to her... they are on a slippery slope, going back and forth between reconciling and divorce. Unfortuately, the desire for reconciliation is not a pure desire for the marriage, but for their girls and for financial security. :( But we know that ALL THINGS are possible through Christ!

    Be blessed!